Always Your Possession (4/4/10)
I tremble
As I watch you ascend
On your way to possess me again
With my eyes wide shut
Veiled in stark darkness
Your heat ignites me and I relinquish
My senses amplify and my body throbs
I hunger for your vigor and passion
My body feeds on your intoxication
I want to foster our collaboration
Integrate your vitality with my architecture
Orchestrate a world in which we can remain infinitely
Effortlessly you engineer my thoughts
Origination and culmination only with you
Spawning an insatiable desire
Now you control my mind
Every thought resides with you
Every move calculated to be with you
My soul has succumbed and is depleted
Clocked in desolation and exhaustion
Now intrinsically yours
All my love and affection must be for you
Nothing even available for myself
You require totality
I know inviting you back into my existence
Will be my demise
An assisted suicide/sacrifice of me to you
Prior intimacy has me resistance to your seduction
A resolute conscience well versed in your threat
Therefore I will fight forever to keep you from being my consequence
For the bliss we shared I will always be fond
But ultimately you would have destroyed me without a thought
So I banish you inside and out
————————————————————————————————————————————————–
My Reality (January 2010)
I once was lost
now I am found
and in my pocket
carrying my achievements around
What once was filled
with death, depression, and decay
has been replaced
with brighter colors of a beautiful day
I know you’re not gone
lying in wait
just waiting for the chance
to knock me into a different fate
You stole my me
you stole my life
now I’ve got them back
and I will fight like hell to keep them forever from your grasp
You are my reality
you are the stack I was dealt
but with medication and life management skills
I will turn you from a death sentence into 525,600 mins of health!!
———————————————————————————————————————–
Brightside ( Written July 15, 2009)
The morning after
my face looks beaten and bruised
my chest is hollow
my heart disappeared
I wander in my new darkness
direction unknown
so I put on a mask
and into public i go
I have to realize she didn’t have what it takes
I need a fighter
I need a survivor
I need an unstoppable force beside me
To survive these
Coming out of my cage
dispelling the rage
I put on a mask
and wait for the next life
Crossing over to the otherside
my heavy feet drag
but my heart will free
and then I can demask
—————————————————————–
Past, Present, & Future
Sometimes I run away
Deep inside my mind
To a place where no one can follow
A place far away where I can hide
A copious existence though not real
It carries surreal feelings
That while I’m sleeping
Make me able to feel
Understand and accept the past
It’s the key to the future
It’s time to take a stance
And learn how to become human
To negate those feelings
Is such a stupid act
Cause deep down inside you can feel them
But are just too scared to react
Do they really want to see me
To know who I am
Will they still love me
When I fall and can no longer stand?
——————————————————————-
Who Am I
I am a reticent
A lost lonely soul
Pretending to know who I am
A farce in sheep’s clothes
Walking around on a cloud
speaking my rhetoric babble
Acting like I have all the answers
Honestly, I’m just a fucking coward
Sometimes I believe this
Other times I don’t
I go back & and forth so many times
What a complete joke
Some days it’s all so clear
and others it’s a blur
I need some real answers
Before I come unnerved
Where do I go
To get what I need
Were do I find it
The unlocking key
I keep up my search
Day in and day out
To find some answers
And get rid of the doubt
As long as it takes
What ever road I must follow
Till death do I stop
On the infamous travel
——————————————————————
And Now I See (written June 2003)
What is the reason
For Me to hold on
When I open my eyes
What I see are the lies
I’m stumbling through
The thick blackness
My soul empty and hungering
I yearn to feed it to saitie it
Everyday is a battle
One in which I win
Because I’m left here standing
Living
So again what is the reason
for me to hold on
Is it the truth that I seek
or is it a love that i only hope exists
Who are you
Can you tell me now?
They call you Katherine
but do any of them really know
the demons that lay covered up
waiting for the fuck up
for the day you get so low
that you decide to go
will it come
or will you hold on
will you stay or will you go
Oh I thank God
for helping me to hold on.
1 Comment(s)
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Beautiful!!!!!!!!!!!!